My friends, they love my intelligence
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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