it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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