marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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