my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize