Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize