My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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