I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
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...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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