New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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