I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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