omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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