Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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