I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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