I can text with my tongue
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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