have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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