Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
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Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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