Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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