I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize