Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize