why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
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Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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