I could have mohawked her pubes.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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