considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I deserve this hangover.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize