My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize