I think my vagina is haunted
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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