Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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