I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize