I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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