girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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