Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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