Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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