There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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