According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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