worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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