let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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