I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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