So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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