Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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