What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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