i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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