Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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