I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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