I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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