That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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