Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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