did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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