so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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