Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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