I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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