Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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