We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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