Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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